When a crisis of faith is really about the necessity of updating conceptual frameworks.
It was Daddy’s birthday on Monday. It has been 28 years since he died and I don’t miss him any less. The feeling of loss has been exacerbated as I am trying to recover from losing Uncle Tyrone on April 1st. I mean… really? I comfortably believed my family had a sick sense of humour for a bit rather than face reality.
Mummy was in the hospital on Tuesday. She is home now and fine but I am… tired.
This week I have been feeling like my life has become a Depeche Mode song so God and I had a heated discussion. I won. I always win those discussions because I accepted God’s existence and that means… Yeah, I can clean house and change my iconography. Time to give credit where credit is due. I’ve always believed more in Jesus Christ and my mother than the big Kahuna anyway… and that is about nothing more the power of belief. Doesn’t matter in what.
Don’t get me wrong. I am still full of belief, still faithful. If there is anything integral to my character, it is faith… in faith. However, I believe it is about time to stop using what has been simply a token since I was a child and realized what I was reading amounted to a really good collection of writing that ended with a made for the movie theatre extended hallucination. It was worth reading several times but the Tao Te Ching has always been clearer to me.
It is time I came up with a more representative token and refine my iconography.
Although it has been easier to use the language I’ve grown up with it is time to change the conversation and use a more representative language. Free up processing space in my brain that I have been using for translation.
Well, heck if I didn’t already come up with it years ago.
NaNU. NaNU. [Just a note to take a look at this article again: http://www.sentientdevelopments.com/2006/03/our-non-arbitrary-universe.html]
For good measure, the other Depeche Mode song: