Posted by: Xhyra Graf | 23 September 2009

Maintenance…

Sunrise at Flinders Uni

I need a place like this to go and sit for a while.

It’s hard work; and simply because I haven’t been doing it regularly. [08/09/10: Still tedious because of the amount that I’ve allowed to pile up – I really have to work on the concept of regular maintenance.]  Going through all this information is tiring. It’s like a realigning of my ability to think and… it’s somewhat depressing.  [I still remember being moved to tears as I found it difficult to read and understand my own papers while preparing to go to Hong Kong.]

On top of fixing all of the little mostly technical things [like those &$$#@(%! characters that were added in because of the upgrade] it just been difficult to wade through this stuff.   I think I gave the perfect description when I said I feel like Michelangelo unable to strike the marble without cracking it – like a dancer who hasn’t danced for a very long time.  Still,  I give myself props for actually doing it.

And…  I give myself props because the pictures actually help to ground me in what I was thinking at the time.  Yay! I’ve proved my theory of art as external memory aids to metacognition – if only to myself.  It feels like the internet/techie version of the process for the MarChrist Collection where I take something old and almost useless [Yahoo sucks! WordPress rules!] and try to make into something completely new and relevant to where I am now.  I’m indulging that part of my personality that doesn’t believe in throwing things out, that believes there are always lessons to be learned from past thoughts and experiences, that it is important to go back and clarify against the measure of myself at a previous time – even if it may distort the memories, lol.

Then again this also serves as documentation – as long as I’m honest – of the past thoughts and memories of them.

Will go through some of the ‘pending review’ tomorrow. [08/09/10: make that the todolist. Updating this post is the web version of deja vu? Almost exactly the same state of mind.]

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